Judgment Will Happen Anyway

A leadership lesson I learned in the most ridiculous place possible.

Let me tell you something ambitious women eventually realize:

No matter what you do, someone is going to judge you.

Not because you did something wrong.

Sometimes simply because they don’t understand what’s happening.

And this week, I learned that lesson in the most unexpected way possible… in a bathroom before a doctor’s appointment.

Yes. Stay with me.

The Most Ridiculous Leadership Lesson

I checked in for my appointment a little early and told the receptionist I was going to run to the restroom.

Normal. Responsible. Civilized.

I walk into the restroom…

…and immediately lock eyes with a woman sitting on the toilet with the stall door wide open.

Yes. Open.

Our eyes meet and we both realize we have entered a social situation that absolutely no one prepared us for.

So I quietly close her stall door for her and exit the bathroom because clearly this space is no longer emotionally safe for me.

I find another restroom upstairs.

Everything is normal. Everything is fine.

And then suddenly…

the lights go out.

Pitch black.

Now let me tell you something about me.

I hate the dark.

So now I’m flailing my arms trying to trigger the motion sensor like a confused bat.

Nothing.

The sensor refuses to acknowledge my existence.

Now I’m in a pitch-black stall running my hands along the wall trying to find the toilet paper.

Still nothing.

And at that moment I realized something important:

Dignity had officially left the building.

So I made a decision.

I opened the stall door (pants still down) and started waving my arms around like I was

directing airplanes on an airport runway.

Finally the lights came back on.

Problem solved.

The Moment I Couldn’t Control the Narrative

But here’s where things got interesting.

When I returned to the waiting room, the same woman from the first bathroom stall was sitting there.

Now remember, the receptionist had seen me leave for the restroom twenty minutes earlier.

So she asks:

“Everything okay?”

Normally I would explain what happened.

But the woman from the stall was sitting right there.

Which meant explaining the situation would require a very public bathroom debrief.

Something like:

“Well first I walked into a stall situation that required eye contact and emotional processing… and then the lights went out while I was using the bathroom…”

Suddenly this has become a full press conference.

So instead…

I sat down quietly.

And I had to accept that everyone in that waiting room might draw the same conclusion:

That I had just spent twenty minutes in the bathroom having a very "serious" situation.

And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

The Leadership Insight

That’s when it hit me.

Sometimes people are going to draw their own conclusions about a situation…

and you don’t get to control the narrative.

You only get to control your next action.

And ambitious women deal with this all the time.

You start a business.

You pursue a big idea.

You make a bold move.

And someone somewhere will misunderstand what’s happening.

They may think:

• you got lucky

• things are easy for you

• you’re doing too much

• you’re doing it wrong

But here’s the truth:

Judgment will happen anyway.

So you might as well take the action that moves your life forward.

The Trap High-Achieving Women Fall Into

So many ambitious women hold themselves back trying to manage everyone’s opinions.

Trying to explain.

Trying to make sure no one misunderstands.

Trying to make everything look perfect.

But progress doesn’t belong to the person who avoids judgment.

Progress belongs to the person who keeps moving anyway.

Even when the lights go out.

Even when the situation feels uncomfortable.

Even when someone might draw the wrong conclusion.

The Real Freedom

If you spend your life trying to avoid judgment, you will spend your life standing still.

But if you accept that judgment is part of the journey, something powerful happens.

You free yourself to move.

You free yourself to act.

You free yourself to build the life you actually want.

And if you’re an ambitious woman building something meaningful...

that freedom is everything.

A Question for You

When was the last time you took action even though someone might judge the situation?

I’d love to hear in the comments.

And if you enjoy reflections like this, join me each week for Power NAP Live, where we talk about ambition, leadership, and building a life of sustainable success.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzKX4hzdJ7s