High Achievers Already Know They’ll Get Through It. What They Need Is Empathy.
- Dr. Erin Wilson
- Mar 9
- 3 min read
High achievers rarely doubt they will overcome a challenge.
What they often need acknowledged is the experience.
Encouragement focuses on the outcome.
Empathy sits with you in the moment.
Sometimes when you're struggling, the worst thing someone can say to you is:
“You’ll get through it.”
And here’s the thing. They’re not wrong.
Of course I'm going to get through it. I'm a high-achieving, ambitious woman. Getting through things is practically part of my brand.
But this week I realized something important.
Encouragement wasn't what I needed.
Empathy was.
And if you love a high performer or if you are one, this insight might change the way you show up for each other.
A Moment That Made Me Pause
This week I wasn’t feeling well. My husband, being the sweet man that he is, said:
“You’ll get through it.”
He meant well. He was being supportive. But something in me didn’t receive it well, and he could tell.
So he asked a thoughtful question:
“What would have been better to say?”
I thought about it for a second and answered honestly.
Empathy.
Just a simple:
“I’m so sorry you’re going through that.”
Because here’s the truth about high performers.
We already know we’re going to get through it.
What we often need is acknowledgment of the moment we’re in.
The Armor of High Achievement
High-achieving women walk around wearing armor.
Competence armor.
Leadership armor.
Strength armor.
People look at us and think:
“She’s fine.”
“She’s strong.”
“She’ll figure it out.”
And most of the time, we will.
But that doesn't mean the moment isn't hard.
Sustainable ambition is not about pretending things don't affect you. It is about allowing yourself to be human while you are building extraordinary things.
Sustainable ambition means building success in a way that allows strength and humanity to coexist.
Empathy gives people permission to be human.
Encouragement skips over the moment. Empathy sits in it with you.
Encouragement vs. Empathy
Here is the difference.
Encouragement says:
“You’ll get through it.”
Empathy says:
“I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
Encouragement focuses on the outcome.
Empathy acknowledges the experience.
High performers rarely doubt the outcome.
What we need recognized is the experience.
And when someone gives you empathy, you often regain your strength faster. Why? Because you feel seen.
And feeling seen is powerful fuel.
Teaching People How to Support You
There is something we do not talk about enough.
The people in our lives are not mind readers. We have to teach them how to support us.
My husband asking, “What would have been better?”
That was relational intelligence.
Me answering honestly?
That was sustainable ambition.
Because sustainable ambition is not about being tough all the time. It is about building relationships where you do not have to be.
A Question for High-Achieving Women
If you are someone who carries a lot of responsibility, I’m curious about your experience.
Which one feels more supportive to you?
A. “You’ll get through it.”
B. “I’m sorry you’re going through that.”
Many ambitious women already believe in their ability to overcome challenges. What they crave is understanding in the moment.
The more we talk about this, the better we become at supporting each other.
The Truth About Strength
High achievers are strong.
But strength does not cancel out the need to be understood.
Sustainable ambition means we do not just survive our success. We build lives where we are supported inside it.
And sometimes the most powerful thing someone can offer you is not encouragement.
It is empathy.
Sustainable ambition means we don’t just survive success.
We build lives where we are supported inside it.
Watch the full episode of Power NAP Live here:
Dr. Erin Wilson writes about leadership, relational intelligence, and sustainable ambition for high-performing women and the teams they lead.
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